I feel Like a Hypocrite!

This past week I’ve been struggling with many things. I need to make changes in several different areas of my life, but I am completely unorganized, inconsistent, and unmotivated to do so. The things I am speaking of are a mixed bag of issues that relate to some physical things (eating/exercising/remembering to take my supplements), some mental/emotional challenges, and some business challenges. I find myself continually running into the same brick wall, and instead of plowing through, I push a little bit, give up and walk away because honestly, I’m not in a fighting mood lately. This stagnation point, has required me to stop and analyze where my head is at. By taking the initiative to think about my thinking, I have been able to pinpoint a very important mental attitude that has been holding me back.

Let’s take an issue that we all can relate to. My eating habits and choices have been all over the place, one day I stick to a healthy eating plan, the next day I can go hours before eating anything and then eat food that is just not supportive. I’m starving, and then I make the excuse that I can get away with eating what I want. Meanwhile, my inconsistent lifestyle choices and justification mentality are what got me to being obese during my 20’s and 30’s, and quite frankly, the feelings of low self-discipline and not taking care of my own needs are also familiar and definitely not wanted. As I look back at the path I’ve been on over the last month or so, I can see where I went wrong and I do a see a pattern. So here it is: I don’t feel like doing the consistent lifestyle, I don’t want to stick to a schedule, a regiment, a things-to-do list that lays out part or most of my day. I want to live free of rules, and the discipline it takes to be happy with my choices is not high on my priority list. THE DISCIPLINE IT TAKES TO BE HAPPY WITH MY CHOICES. That is a really important sentence. What I have been going through lately is if I’m not happy with making a specific supportive choice, I won’t do it. Why? I feel like a fraud and a hypocrite.

So for instance, if I don’t feel like going to the gym, I won’t go because my true self really does not want to be there. I’ve gotten to that point because in my mind, if someone I know sees me there, maybe they’re saying to themselves, “yup, there is that health & wellness lady, being healthy, working out…good for her.” Meanwhile, I don’t go every day or even 5 days out of 7 and they don’t realize that I’m only there because it’s the right thing to do and I know I should be there versus wanting to be there.

Here’s another one, I’m only eating this salad because it’s the right thing to do and I should be eating my vegetables. The old me (and I wonder if it’s the real me sometimes) would rather be eating a big fat slice of pizza (with extra cheese – PS: bring on the bacon, even though I know it saps all my energy!!)

I know I can’t keep going on like this because it is affecting my weight, my sleep, my concentration, my mental stamina and I don’t feel good.  So, I had to sit and think this out a little more.  After recognizing my belief of me feeling or thinking I’m a hypocrite, what I did realize is that I love how healthy eating makes me feel physically, I love how eating healthy helps me feel like I’m in control and self-disciplined, and how I feel good about taking care of my body. I love the energy I get after going to the gym, I love how I feel toner and stronger after I work out.  I love my concentration levels being heightened when I do things ahead of time instead of procrastinating and I love crossing things off of a things-to-do list!

And the cool thing is that NONE of what I just said was fraudulent nor do I feel like a hypocrite stating any of it. I DO LOVE ALL THOSE FEELINGS AND RESULTS! That’s it, that’s what I can say truthfully and I know that I’m not lying to myself or others.  So, when I got up this morning, I admitted I didn’t want to go the gym but I went because I wanted to feel toner and stronger and going to the gym would help me accomplish my desired outcome! didn’t want to order salad for lunch, but I wanted to feel self-disciplined and proud that I ate healthy to support my amazing body, so I ordered and ate the salad…and enjoyed it! I didn’t want to schedule out my day and have to stick to a regiment, but I love crossing things off my list.

When I feel great about my decision and final choice, it leads to me feeling good about me and my ability to take care of myself. Making the good choices is actually feeding my soul, and that was a side effect I wasn’t expecting. This is what self-love looks like. I want to feel good and that is all I want. I deserve to feel good, and that’s my daily goal. That will be a new affirmation for me to claim. I choose to feel good every day by making choices that support my deepest desires!

I changed my perspective and that was all it took. How can you change your perspective? Are you being overly critical of yourself when in all actuality, you just need to look at you and your situation differently? Think about this idea over the next week, you truly are amazing, maybe not perfect, but you deserve to treat yourself with love and respect and get what you truly desire! So, do it and reap the benefits of making good supportive decisions about what you truly love!

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