Having the confidence to speak up and speak truth.
What can make the difference in your willingness to do so?
Being that it is February, of course, I will talk about love – and yes self-love. But you will see that self-love can not only be very beneficial for you but others as well.
One of the homeopathic remedies in our weight loss supplement – Pulsatilla for women and Nux Vomica for men, specifically targets the inability to release bottled up emotions. Positively releasing bottled up emotions is a very important superpower to have. When we do not release emotions properly, it could physically manifest itself into other areas of the body like TMJ area or thyroid. Why? Negative or emotionally charged thoughts that are not released have negative frequencies – meaning direction and intensity of that energy cause stress and inflammation in the body, which then dries up surrounding muscle, organs, tendons, and ligaments. This dried up tissue is called scar tissue. The body is amazing! As you go through this weight loss journey, you will learn about the mind-body-spirit connection, you will be able to rid yourselves of dis-ease much quicker. Our bodies are designed to speak to us, but we must listen.
I asked myself why don’t I speak up more often, and when I asked that question in the office, Coach Nadine replied because if I said what I was thinking, I would hurt their feelings. So that was really interesting! Her fear was hurting someone else, but meanwhile, what she had to say could have been a really valuable word of wisdom. Maybe the initial sting of hearing truth would have hurt, but if it was said out of love, the receiver would have accepted her advice and later been thankful for it – and both parties would have benefitted.
So why don’t people speak up and say things that need to be said? Why don’t we “put people in their place” more often? Well, I guess if that is how you are looking at it, you probably would shy away from saying things. Confrontation is something 99% of the population backs away from. But if you stop and think about all the times you wanted to say something to someone, would what you had to say to them benefitted them in some way? Most likely, yes. If not, then you were correct in not speaking up.
Let’s consider the non-spoken beneficial scenario for the sake of this blog. If you feel the way Nadine felt, then there is a solution. When you target your own heart during meditation, prayer, and self-growth activities, and build up your love center, you will have more confidence in your ability to speak in love, therefore be able to speak more often. If we dipped everything in love before it came out of our mouths, we would positively affect the people around us.
The most beneficial tool I could give you is this: stop and breathe (6 seconds in – 6 seconds out) before you speak. When you develop that habit, you will not harm people with your words because you will remember to phrase it in a way so that it is said in love.
Will there be times that no matter how you say it, the person will be angry and take it the wrong way? Of course, but if you know you said it in love with the intention of love, it is NOT your responsibility how they took it, it is theirs. And when they get over themselves, they will see that you were right and take your advice. You may not get accolades from them, but honestly, if you said it in love, you won’t care about that. If that person throws a temper tantrum, offer them a hug and let them know that you love them and leave it at that. You have full confidence knowing you are a good person full of love.
How do I build up my love center? Every day during my prayer and meditation time, I remind myself that I AM loved, I love, I AM love – my whole being is love when I surround myself with God’s love. I recite scripture to myself regarding love for other’s and God’s love for me. This practice is daily! By doing this, I am also growing in self-confidence and less scared about speaking truth. Without self -confidence and a built-up love/heart center, we will stay behind our “safe wall” or run back and hide behind it quickly if we think we acted outside of where we should have.
My challenge to you is to
1) incorporate daily practices to build your heart/love center and
2) start remembering to breathe before you speak. This will give you the time to re-phrase something without the initial emotion attached to the facts that should be brought up.
One last little admonition: look at the person and not the problem. When you get good at this skill, I guarantee you will get to the bottom of whatever is truly bothering them or causing them to act the way they do.