As we focus this month on friends and family, it’s important to take an honest look at from who and how YOU are supported.
My experience has shown me that people with weight issues tend to be overly generous givers. You are there for your family and friends. YOU are the one people come to and count on. And I would imagine it feels good to provide this for those people in your life (and possibly in your career).
So the good news is: you have the skills to serve and support. Now you need to be open to give that to yourself, and RECEIVE that from your family and friends.
And I find that for those of you who are like this, it can be challenging to RECEIVE this support. If this applies to you, have you ever taken a step back and wonder why you might be uncomfortable RECEIVING?
Many of us have used our bodies as a scapegoat for feelings of inadequacy. Easier to bury your feelings of sadness, anger, frustration with food. When you don’t honor the feelings you experience, they are still buried alive within you. And It’s like you are saying to the world “If you REALLY knew me….” So you bury your feelings. As if you don’t have the right to feel what you are feeling and express yourself authentically. This is the unfortunate way most humans diminish their self worth and are left feeling ‘not enough.’
So the tides have changed…and you are in the process of finally allowing the real you to emerge.
Now you need to take a closer look at the people that you are surrounding yourself with. Are they supportive of your commitment and changes? Or are there any that are uncomfortable with the new, emerging you?
I recently had to take quite a bit of time helping to get care for my 87 year old mother. Her health was declining a bit, and her dementia was progressing. There were lots of moving parts in this equation, including having to navigate my two sisters. I tend to be the one who is calm, rational and supportive. But I also had to make sure I took time out for me. And, it wasn’t easy. In fact, I found myself slipping back into old patterns of being primary caregiver…and not taking as good of care of myself.
So I stopped. I navigated as best as I could. I lowered my expectations of what I could and could not do. And I also did not rely on my sisters for support. They didn’t have it in them. I went elsewhere.
And that’s an important point to make: there are going to be people in your life that simply cannot provide you with the support you need. ALWAYS make a request, but accept what someone can or cannot provide.
Your Breakthrough journey is a commitment to finally saying YES to you being YOU! And it is a journey. You’ve had lots of experiences that you are unraveling internally. When the crutch of food has been removed, you will find the stories, thoughts and emotions that have been ‘working’ on you all these years begin to surface (which is why we offer Loving Yourself Lean to the Breakthrough community. We can literally melt this issues away).
e grateful for all the people you have in your life. Be grateful that you are finally putting yourself first…and be grateful that you are (possibly slowly) allowing others to support you!
I applaud you for your commitment.