Do you love yourself?

“Of course, I do,” is what many people say, but in all reality, their lives do not reflect much self-love going on.  How would I know that?  If I ask these same people why they are overweight, they say things like they have too much stress, they are responsible for other people’s lives, their lifestyle is crazy, etc.  For many, including myself, the phrases self-love and self-care do not compute.  When I learned about this idea 5 years ago, it meant that I don’t hate myself, therefore, I must love myself, right?  No.

I was not able to understand the concept because I did not know what self-love looked like in real life. But over the past year or so, the definition I’ve come up with is this: I consider myself and my needs when deciding what to do with my resources not just what helps or makes others happy.

So, what are our resources?  Our time, money, worldly possessions, skills, and our emotional, mental, and physical energy.  Understanding this has helped me have a new perspective on how I treat myself when it comes to my relationships and interactions with other people, things, my job, and responsibilities.

Let’s do a self-love exercise

Find a quiet place to sit and relax.  Take about 10 minutes to analyze your day as you’re sipping your coffee.  The goal of this exercise is to be able to say “job well done” to yourself when you reflect on your accomplishments, actions, attitude, and mindset.   Take a minute and write them down.  List all the things you are proud of and what you did that makes you feel good.

Looking at your list, how many of those things were for other people, other people’s agendas, or other things not related to your health or body?  I would have to guess almost all of them.  Many people would say things like, I cleaned the house, I got my to-do list done, I finished that project at work, I didn’t have road rage today, I opened a door for someone, I helped someone…

What would a self-love list look like?

Take a minute and look at the list of resources above.  How can these be re-directed in a way that not only helps others but honors you and your needs, as well? Now, write down a different list.  This time, allow your resources and the activities for the “job well done” list to only include things that you want for yourself.  What did you come up with? Was it something like exercise, drink my water, have some quiet time, read a book, take a bath, take a walk, set aside money for myself, organize something that will de-clutter my life?

So, what’s next?

Now that you have a new list, please come up with your “non-negotiables.”  These are the things that you will make sure happens every day, NO MATTER WHAT.  Circle the ones you will not forego on.  This non-negotiable list will help you create necessary boundaries that are easy for you to see and because they are defined, you will be able to see with clarity when you or someone else starts to cross those boundaries.  Those boundaries are also important because they help you make decisions.  And when you pay attention to them regularly, it will become second nature to consider your needs when deciding on how your resources will be utilized.

This is a very important step to take.  If at the end of the day you are reflecting on what you accomplished for yourself, then your self-love, worth, and value will expand.  Remember, when you value someone, you make bold steps to take care of them.  It will not be hard to take bold steps for yourself when you establish worth and value for the amazing person you are.  This is huge for people who tend to eat for comfort or continually choose foods that don’t support them physically, mentally, or emotionally.

Another way you could incorporate a new perspective is to figure out your “Framework.”  I have decided that there are 4 major things that must happen daily, and this is how I am framing my day.  So, I want to hydrate properly, eat 90-10, exercise, and meditate/manifest/pray every day!  As long as I am doing those things, I am accomplishing daily self-love actions.

I hope this short blog has been helpful to you.  Please know that as the CEO of this company, I do not want people to continue on the diet cycle.  If we all address the root cause of our weight issues, we will no longer have weight issues!  Yay!

All my love,

Nan